Thursday, 31 July 2014

Zen Ironing

I am in the throes of re-branding myself from workaholic manager to a zen-like retiree.  I have noticed a BIG gap from "here" to "there"!  In fact, today I found myself ironing t-shirts!  Now, for some of you that may be perfectly normal behavior. You might even iron your underwear and that is OK - really!  It's just that I don't quite fall into that category.  I iron only when it has to be ironed or when people will look at me funny if I don`t!  I have been known to iron pillowcases - sure, and even sheets (just the tops of the flat ones - relax!), but rarely would I ever touch up a t-shirt unless it was casual Friday or jeans day at work.

I sat down tonight to analyse this (now that, dear friends, is the real me!) and came to a whopping big conclusion!  I have replaced my daily raids to the candy machine at work when I was buried by a project that wasn't going well with IRONING!  Now ironing is a much healthier procrastination activity to be sure - a lot fewer calories than munching on an Aero Bar - but it is kind of odd - right?

Now here's the story (before my close peeps start saying things like Type A and OCD Queen!).  I was struggling this afternoon while hanging some new drapes for my new nest (see previous blog for definition of "nest!"  I pre-drilled the holes to test for a stud and found none.  I drilled a bigger hole (4X - talk about being confident!) and grabbed the anchors.  With four screws pressed tightly between my lips, I climbed the little ladder to proceed screwing them into the - oh, whoops - forgot the anchors.  I proceeded down the ladder to get them, removed the screws from my mouth, and holding the anchors in my hand, hammered the first one in - perfect!  Then, I inserted the second one and hammered and hammered and - yeah, I smashed that anchor into a blob.  I pulled and yanked and sweated my way through the next five minutes of extracting this second anchor.  I could not believe I had missed locating a stud or cross piece or whatever it is called!

So now I have two holes in my wall - MAKE THAT 4 - and the sweat starts to bead on my forehead.  I hold my breath - I always hold my breath when trying to execute tasks that require precision.  I move on to hole Number 3 - perfect!  So, insanity sets in and I push anchor Number 4 into the final hole - why did I think that at the same level as Number 2 I would somehow miss the cross piece?  I straightened the brace, wiggled the hole in the brace over a little tiny bit and, with teeth clenched, drove screw Number 4 (sans anchor) into the wall.  Seemed pretty tight to me.  I returned with bated breath to Number 2 - what to do?  I grabbed a smaller anchor and hammered until I had smashed it down to almost wall depth.  I grabbed the electric drill with the screw bit in place, pulled the trigger and pushed until that sucker sunk below noticeable levels of detection!  I tested the security of the two braces, decided they were sufficient for the small rod and hung those drapes un-hemmed so no one would see the messy job I just pulled off!

You can guess by this time I was out of breath, drenched from top to toe, frustrated and not too inclined to measure, cut and hem the four drapery panels hanging from the the two living room windows - that was my plan today!  Not a candy bar or gluten free granola bar to be found so - I IRONED!  AH, perfection! 

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