Home Sweet Little Home

I have been inundated with posts this week (thank you, Huffington Post!) about Little Houses.  The tiny homes movement has been growing with many being built in various American cities (hello, Canada!) to address the homeless population's lack of housing.  Built in community with social services at hand along with laundry and administration facilities within the small "villages", the homeless are speaking out about what 500 sq. ft. or much less can mean to someone who has been sleeping outside on cardboard for years.  I have not studied it, cannot address all the issues that could arise from it, but in this moment, I have to say it sounds like one type of solution for some homeless in some communities.  Much cheaper than building big apartment buildings that require large outlays of cash and ongoing maintenance of hallways and heat and air conditioning.  Many tiny homes have solar energy, composting toilets and small maintenance concerns - plus affordable rent for someone making $15 K or so a year.   There is also the invaluable sense of community and pride that these small abodes render.

With the many pictures accompanying these articles I realized that our seniors - yes, you Boomers - are also embracing this in different ways as they seek a retirement solution that will provide them with economic independence.  I have personally downsized into a small, two bedroom home in a lower, economically developed region.  I would never choose this area if I was working - jobs are scarce - but the winter is warmer, the climate is dry and - glory be - the real estate is cheaper than most major cities. Our downsize is not as dramatic as the tiny house movement (and we did actually look at tiny apartments as one consideration but they were VERY pricey!), but it has no basement, is just over 1000 sq. ft. and fits us to a "T"!

I do have friends who have chosen to go the Little House route but, in our lingo, we call them "park models!"  Everything you could want including granite counter tops and cathedral ceilings in 500 sq. ft!  Selling their multi-level city house enabled them to follow their dream.  They now own two park models - one in Canada and one in Arizona.  They get to embrace two various locations, avoid the much-maligned Canadian winter and only have to move some clothing from one site to the other.  The park model in Arizona is what many snowbirds call home for the Canadian winter.  Mind you, most retain their 2000 sq. ft, 3-bedroom home in the city too.  These friends threw caution to the wind and chose to free themselves from the weight such a home creates in maintenance and heating bills and found a small park just miles south of their city home that garnered them a riverside paradise in Canada.  They have retained their temporary trailer as a "visitor dorm" in case of grandkid-sleep overs but had a new park model moved on to the site this spring!  I think their vision is brave and innovative.  This is Year One and I have to say that the Facebook posts are all positive and speak to the allure of friendships and activities in both countries!

What would it take for you to give up your suburban abode?  The vision of freedom to pursue our travel plans and a little corner of the world we can still call home was all we needed!

Guiltless Giving

I read an article from the Boston Globe about the "gift that keeps on giving - guilt, that is" and laughed out loud.  With a downsizing move in the very near future, this has been a daily topic of discussion between my two brains - the Pragmatic one and the Nostalgic one ! 




The conversation often goes like this:

N-Brain:  "I think that every grandchild should have a tea cup from their great grandma - you can't give a stranger that precious bit of china commemorating the crowning of Queen Elizabeth II, for goodness sake!  My grandmother protected that delicate piece of memorabilia for what - 50 years!"  

P-Brain (love that little pun!):  "You have never sipped one cup of tea out of that cup since the day it saw the light of day!  It has been packed in a box for like 30 years now and moved along with you each and every time.  Let it go - it will be the perfect piece for a royalist collector somewhere!  Your grandchildren will thank you!"

Let me weigh in now that no one brain wins every debate - at least not in my head!  Tears sometimes blind my pragmatic self and ruthless energy sometimes pushes past a guilt-driven wish to pay the kindness (and memories) forward.  I expect my children daring to read this blog to smile on cue when I only seek to "pay forward" what my mother and grandmother paid forward to me! and then, say "thanks, but no thanks, mom" and hand it back!

So, how do you decide what stays and what goes?  If you have personally reached this stage, do you get the proverbial answer "not now, Mom, but maybe in 10 years" or "yes" when their eyes are glazed over to hide the "what  will I ever do with that " look.  Having delivered the full set of china to my nostalgic, sweet Oregon daughter, I am now prone to be ruthless and yet I dither away.

There is a lingering fear, from my perspective, that awful moment when I find out I gave Daughter #1's wished for item to Daughter #2 - hurting feelings, playing favorites, tossing the important stuff, gifting the ugly - I think you get it.  I will need strength of conviction and maybe a small glass of Merlot to see me through those moments.  I love you, daughters-of-mine, each of you , so very much - maybe so much, I will not weigh you down with my rubble!!

I think back to the scene following my own mother's death, when her much downsized possessions were laid out in full view and realized then that the most precious items were the much used aprons she sewed from dress scraps, the rolling pin she had saved from the bakery she and my dad had owned or the recipes - handwritten on cardboard saved from pantyhose packaging and envelopes - those are things memories are made of and not the lovely little tea cup living out its life in a box in the basement.

So, pictures have been sorted and can be discarded without guilt by the receiver.  The china will be gifted or given away.  The jewelry has been labelled.  And this weekend, the dishes will be sorted.  Pictures of keepsakes will be circulated and all can speak up for what is up for grabs.  The following weekend, the charity of my choice will receive the remaining pieces - and DONE!  Or almost anyway.  I anticipate I will still be anguishing over some long ago crystal glass or bowl.  Perhaps there will be room in our new home for one box of guilt-free gifts and memories!