Five Mind Games to Annihilate Boredom in Retirement

Most of the time I write from the Mountaintop of Satisfaction rather than the Valley of Disgruntlement!  Today I am taking a different approach as it occurred to me that no one lives on the mountain top every day!  Many can coast down pretty quickly and I thought, maybe, while I was down here visiting the doldrums I might figure out some witty, unique ideas to dig my way out - at least to the surface of Ho Hum.

Due to some recent health issues in our little family of two, I re-jigged my retirement from self-centred to temporary caregiver.  This was a willing and loving choice and I would certainly make it over and over again if necessary.  I found myself suddenly in charge of all decisions - shopping, cooking, cleaning, deciding, communicating, and supporting, encouraging and coaching.  I realize there are many out there who do this on a regular basis and I salute you - truly.  I have been reminded that I am so blessed to have a man in my life who loves to cook and clean and anything else I leave undone.  We have fallen into a rhythm of sorts "putzing" in our areas of expertise, seeking out our creative endeavors separately and spending evenings hanging out with each other or family or friends.  That all changed last week.

I discovered that I actually enjoyed cooking again (in small bouts) and shopping was slower when I did it but oh so much more interesting.  I had great chats with the Superstore staff as they rushed to assist me in the bulk foods aisle or point me to the coconut milk in the Asian food aisle. I loved searching through recipes and planning the day`s meal based on my recent purchases.  I even liked my solitude as my significant other napped.  I felt in charge!  Drunk with it, actually!

This week, he is feeling better, my control-freak, manager role has been re-engineered to official cleaner-upper and bed maker again and, sorry to say,  I got grumpy, people.  I slid down off that mountain top of control and I didn`t know how to put the brakes on! As per usual, I slid past the Plateau of the Usual and landed somewhere in the basement!  So I have come up with five activities (or mind games!  You decide!) anyone could use to confront boredom when you dive bomb into something less than Ho Hum:

1.  Embrace your strengths.
Take a look around you and figure out which tasks/skills you are great at and which you would willingly give away.  This obviously would have to be a negotiated state of existence if you have a significant other who is great at the same tasks.  Of course, if you are in a long term partnership with established roles and responsibilities that have evolved over many years, you may be in for a much longer discussion than someone like me with only five years under my (our) belt(s).  I am actually good at organizing, finessing, fussing, perfecting - really.  So I will finesse well this week!  Just saying!

2. Enhance your performance.
When I arrived in my new, retirement abode last year, my partner had been here for one month alone.  Everything was arranged to his liking.  The pantry, the kitchen shelves, the storage areas, and, of course, the garage - all were done.  In My view - temporary; in His view - permanent!  We eventually sorted out the yours/mine/ours of homemaking.  Now, with the break in our ten-month old routine last week, I felt like I had to find my place again.

I delved into my former role of cleaner and polisher with abandonment.  I reveled in the shiny surfaces, the super clean kitchen counters, the perfectly made bed.  It fulfilled my OCD leanings fully.  This week I added a new floral arrangement so I could doubly enjoy it.

3. Feed your creative genius.
I have been missing my twice weekly water colour painting classes!  I found that those two days a week of focused learning and experimenting multiplied into hours of painting and reading about painting.  It took over from my writing fever a little and filled me with child-like excitement - adding a sense of adventure to my week.  With that gone - now what? The emptiness I had filled with shopping and cooking last week felt emptier now.  The silence shouted at me.

I reminded myself about my writing, my blogs, my slightly wonky interest in some decorating DIY's and I felt my spirit rejuvenate.  There is truly something to be said about feeding your creative self.  So, fellow retirees, go out there and create: paintings, pottery, beautiful gardens, artisan breads.  You will feel RENEWED!  I will be out there with you this week!

4.  Play
I have only recently found my inner child and sometimes I still shove her back into the dark corner of my soul instead of inviting her to come out and play.  My partner truly showed me the joy of liberating this rather unruly little girl only five years ago.  It has been so fun to be that child again, play tricks, do silly things, verbalize the funny words that gurgle up inside of me at the oddest moments.  It is also the first thing I shut down when I hit the basement.  Make sure your inner child, the fun one - not the tantrum throwing one - gets to come out and play every day!  Mine surfaced finally last night as we danced a waltz in our kitchen to my personal rendition of "At Last."

5. Talk
So, words are my medium - right?  I love words.  I love how words can paint pictures so vibrant that they live inside my mind even when my eyes are closed.  Words paint emotions for me like colours write stories for others.  It is so important to use my words to share my thoughts, my day, my little corner of the world.  I could write someone a much better letter than share a conversation on the phone.  Words live on paper; they disappear over a wire.  However, it would be difficult to carry out all conversations that way - although I have seen many a teenager attempt that!  So, this week, I will focus even if it takes effort, I will smile, I will speak and share my day, my hopes, my dreams.  I will spin stories and future plans and, yes, even have difficult conversations about who will cook next week.

And that, my friends are the five steps I decided on that would carry me back up to the Plateau of Usual.  Why, I think I might even make it up a few more levels if I can just find the pictures to insert into this post so I can get it published!

See you on the mountaintop!

Time, Time, Time is on my side........la la la.

If you are harried, still working and pulling out your hair because company is coming this weekend and you had to work late on Friday - DO NOT READ THIS!

So, with the warnings out of the way, can I just say that being retired does not mean that you are not busy each day or even that there are not times when something gets in the way of your plans BUT, the big difference is that there is ALWAYS time to recover from the hiccups or the busyness of the morning or noon or night.

Being in charge of my schedule is probably the biggest gift retirement has given me.  Using the time wisely is the biggest challenge.  Nothing comes free - even retirement has its price!

I had three meetings this week which meant going downtown, parking and planning/working for up to eight other people for three or four hours at a stretch.  In my past life, that would have meant driving through traffic, circling for a parking spot and paying upwards to $30 when I found one and then, chairing a meeting no one really wants to be at.  Contrast that with a five minute drive down the mountain, parking for FREE and walking maybe 20 feet to the door - YEAH!  And that is not all!  The meeting participants were often quite colorful and artistic, willing to dig in and make a mess, and happily clean up afterwards.  And that was two out of the three meetings.

The third did involve discussions and some minutes and even a few votes but, we were rubbing shoulders with artists from wood carving to potters, painters to sculptors and they all wanted to be in that room that day.  We were spending money but our budget was $500.00 - not $50000.00 - and no one was fretting over the particulars.

So, I rushed around today, did some shopping in another country, raced home for lunch, rushed down to the post office for some important "posting" business and then drove all the way across town to check out some real estate before having coffee with the tenants.  Dinner was a gourmet treat, bouef de Hamburg, served with various colorful sauces (ketchup, Dijon mustard and pesto mayo), rosemary oven-fried potatoes, fresh veges of my choice and topped off with avocado chocolate mousse.

I have now retired to my studio to write and paint for the evening.  My honey-sweetened tea sits near my right hand ad as I gaze at the clouds just clearing the top of the mountain, I say:

"Time, time, time - is on my side.....yes it is"

Rolling Stones Live at Leeds 1982

Retired Introverts

I woke up this morning (a good thing!) thinking about retirement now that I have reached my one-year anniversary and realized I am still learning how to be retired.

My first observation in the wee hours - retirement is like starting a new job.  New employees don't start out as the expert on Day One - it takes time for them to figure out the "corporate" culture and how they can maximize their position and contribution within their new surroundings.

Because I am a researcher/analyzer type of person, I naturally spent many hours digging into other's comments - written or spoken - on how they "do" retirement.  Like the new employee, I took to heart most of those comments and felt pulled in many different directions.  I pulled back and hid out for awhile (thankfully no one fired me!) and feared I would fade into the woodwork permanently those first few months.  This morning, I read an article about introversion - one of those "13 ways to make the introvert in your life feel loved" kind.  Thank goodness these two blogs together finally shot a dose of realism and clarity into my blood stream.  Made me look at how I was loving the introvert within my own skin!

Without the distraction of a busy work schedule, I have been embracing my introversion in a way I feel I couldn't while being the best in my work of choice.  Work pushed me into social situations where I learned to be the extrovert social diva to promote and educate and market - all at a cost to my energy and motivation to do more and more.  Fortunately, these times were balanced out with my other tasks that tied me to the computer, working within my comfort zone, writing and crunching numbers!  Ah!  Balance!

Take me out of the "have to" scenario and I flounder - like a fish out of water!  Give me eight months and I finally figure out I am not a fish after all!  The guilt surfaced - how my social activity was being sidelined, even avoided at times.  Wise words (some of them mine!) reverberated in my head:

"You need friends - girlfriends, couple friends, casual friends and especially face-to-face friends."
"Get involved in the community.  Volunteer.  Bake cookies.  Go to events."
"Go to the local coffee shop and meet people. Walk up to a table of seniors with an empty chair or two and ask if you can join them."
"Walk around your neighbourhood.  Talk to people.  Get to know their names."

Can I just say that some of this was great advice and some of it was even great advice for me, but some of it (go to a coffee shop!) made my throat constrict in terror!

My moment this morning realized that my happiness quotient goes up when I stay true to myself,  being authentic within my own heart.  I have taken up solo types of activities like painting and writing to my heart's content.  Learning to paint works - joining a class gives me the kind of beneficial social connection I love while I pursue my creative side.  Joining a writing group puts me in a whole group of introverts! Knowing this even encouraged me to venture out and make my first meeting with them a lunch in a restaurant before I had even met one person!  Volunteering looks different for me than the cooking, baking, kind that I think many of my advisers had in mind.  I volunteer at the local art gallery, meeting and greeting complete strangers but in a setting that houses one of my passions - art.  Instant conversation starter plus I can capitalize on my "being in charge" character from years of management.

Social activity is very important, but it looks different for everyone.  Just like the many home choices (style and location), travel ideas (mode and destination) and financial situations (frugal or on the edge!) differ from one to the other.  Retirement is not a destination but a continuation of the life you started sixty or so years ago - true to character with lots of room to grow and explore and finally with the time and opportunity to relax into it.

Retirees don't morph into something they are not, but for this retiree, at least, they continue to become who they really are.  Free time opens up the opportunity to explore some of those neglected corners of a busy, working, parenting life and infuse light, life and colour back into them.  I was a child who loved to create, read, write and hang out with a few special friends.  I am again that child - just a little wiser and freer to pursue all of this and more!

Happy Hour

Did you know?  :)

The words "happy" and "hour" have been linked for centuries with different meanings attached but all referenced enjoyable social activities.  This did not necessarily include cocktails and appetizers mind you!  According to Wikipedia, in the early 1900's this term was most often associated with women's social clubs.  Later, during the first world war, it morphed into a more military term referencing smoking breaks - no alcohol!  Go figure that it took prohibition of alcohol to morph it into a clandestine, alcohol-imbibing meeting time at the local speak easy before heading off for dinner at a posh, alcohol-free restaurant!  Cocktail hours continued this after prohibition was rescinded and took on many forms.  Enter wing night, discounted drinks and happy patrons!

This year I retired and moved to a 50+ community in a small resort town in southern British

Columbia in Canada.  When fall hit we happily discovered that happy hour had arrived in southern B.C.!  Invitations flowed in to drop in for happy hour at various neighbours' homes and a regularly scheduled two-hour happy hour takes place every Friday at the clubhouse.  I suspect that Canadian residents of retirement communities take a slightly more conservative approach to happy hour - perhaps it is the cooler, wetter weather that limits the carefree street wandering of the Arizona crowd or perhaps it is just Canadians are Canadians and the snowbirds that head to the true south do as the Romans do, so to speak, and embrace the American phenomenon more readily than at home!

I find the laid back, friendly event running close to the afternoon coffee break of my stay-at-home mom days, only it is longer and usually includes wine!  I am planning to embrace this snowbird habit with impunity!  And, when Happy Hour becomes my regular afternoon nap, I will still toast my friends in the nursing home with a smile and raise cup of tea! 

Reading, 'Riting and 'Rithmetic

Growing up in the 50's and 60's the standard education was based on the three "R's".  I was triply blessed as I loved all three!  Now that I look at this, I realize that I still do.

My love for reading was embedded in my DNA.  I have read many articles on how important it is to instill the love of reading in your little ones.  I would shock many moms today by saying that I had few books as a very young child.  I only remember one significant one as a preschooler and that was a book of nursery rhymes - a BIG book but only one book.  I pined to be able to read it myself and begged any older sister available to please read me the rhyme about the old lady going to market.  It was never my mom or dad (busy bakers) - just a sibling and when I finally learned how to read, I was rarely without a book in my hand.  Everyone who came to my 12th birthday party gave me a book as a gift.  By fifteen I had read every book I was allowed to read in our small town public library and was granted permission to choose from the adult books (with guidance - it takes a village to raise a child!).  Now I never travel without my Kindle and love, love, love the one tap purchase convenience for any and all new and old releases!

What day is it today? Painting day!

After being waylaid once again by fatigue from some minuscule molecule of gluten, I was so   excited to wake up this morning with some energy.  Because .... What day is it today?  Painting day!  It is not that I haven't tried anything new for months or even years but I haven't had this much fun trying something new since I went to Zumba a couple of years ago (with a bunch of six year olds!).

I signed up for water colour painting along with my sister mostly so we would have a scheduled outing together while she is "snow birding"  in the sunny, warm(er) Okanagan Valley.  I showed up with no paints, no paper and only a few brushes and a little paint palette we had laying around the house.

Ready? Set? Go!

New Years is a time of reflection - where you have been and where you are going.  Where have I been this past year?  I re-read my first post in 2014 (another plus in blogging!) and this is what I wrote:  " I felt like I was standing just below the tip of a ski jump, not yet able to see what lay ahead, not even mapping it out from past experience, but finally, just ready to jump!"

Well, I jumped!  Life is all about change.  Sometimes it just sneaks up on you, like when raising a child. One day you are feeding a babe in arms and the next you are watching her walk down the aisle on her father's arm!  Other times it hits you between the eyes - BAM! - like reaching out to take the divorce papers from the courier assigned the happy job.  But there are changes we seek when we have the time to mull over the details, choose the timing and pick the path.  Like buying a new house when seeking out the mortgage, figuring out the neighborhood and then choosing your move in date gets you your new home.  Of course, nothing is ever that cut and dried!

My Closet Experience

I finally did it - after two months of solid visitors, September arrived and I finally started in on organizing our closets - getting in touch with my "things" after the BIG move.

• Linen closet - check.  
• Walk-in closet - check.  
• Front hall closet - check.  

In less than two days I ran out of closets!  I started on desk drawers (x4) and kitchen drawers - well, actually,  I tend to leave them alone these days!  The chef gets grouchy and threatens to quit if I create any new pockets of storage that swallow up peelers and paring knives!  I vacuumed three times a week and dusted almost daily.  It was as though some maverick Molly Maid had stolen my brain and I couldn't help cleaning.  And then, just like Forest Gump quit running, I just stopped cleaning one day.  I sat down, looked around and "SNAP," Molly was gone.  Now there are a few dust bunnies to hunt down from time to time; the bathrooms actually look like they need to be cleaned before they are; and, the crumbs on the dark rug get kicked onto the lighter hardwood where they are less noticeable until the vacuum comes out of hiding.

I just let it go!  Deep breath!  I quit hovering around Raouf's elbows as he cooked and gratefully took on the clean up role (re: my post Identity Box), puttering around polishing wine glasses to my heart's content.  I joined the library and took out a pile of books and reveled in the time I had free to read - the good, the bad and the ugly (if I wanted!).  I rarely pack my camera away these days as the full symphony of autumn replays every day with surprises at each turn in the path.  This has lead to my new favorite past time - wandering.  Up mountains, by rivers, down pathways, through vineyards and along the lake shore - I wander, snap, ponder and re-connect with authentic little old me.  I also have lovingly embraced my keyboard and dusted off some old writing as well as started on some new and reveled in the sense of joy this amazing gift of time gives - the hours to do what I love to do on a schedule only I devise.

So now, when I wake up in the morning - late - I throw the guilt in the corner (well, usually - still working on that!) and snuggle under the covers until inspiration or a quick call to the bathroom pushes me out!  HAPPY RETIREMENT to me!

Home Sweet Little Home

I have been inundated with posts this week (thank you, Huffington Post!) about Little Houses.  The tiny homes movement has been growing with many being built in various American cities (hello, Canada!) to address the homeless population's lack of housing.  Built in community with social services at hand along with laundry and administration facilities within the small "villages", the homeless are speaking out about what 500 sq. ft. or much less can mean to someone who has been sleeping outside on cardboard for years.  I have not studied it, cannot address all the issues that could arise from it, but in this moment, I have to say it sounds like one type of solution for some homeless in some communities.  Much cheaper than building big apartment buildings that require large outlays of cash and ongoing maintenance of hallways and heat and air conditioning.  Many tiny homes have solar energy, composting toilets and small maintenance concerns - plus affordable rent for someone making $15 K or so a year.   There is also the invaluable sense of community and pride that these small abodes render.

With the many pictures accompanying these articles I realized that our seniors - yes, you Boomers - are also embracing this in different ways as they seek a retirement solution that will provide them with economic independence.  I have personally downsized into a small, two bedroom home in a lower, economically developed region.  I would never choose this area if I was working - jobs are scarce - but the winter is warmer, the climate is dry and - glory be - the real estate is cheaper than most major cities. Our downsize is not as dramatic as the tiny house movement (and we did actually look at tiny apartments as one consideration but they were VERY pricey!), but it has no basement, is just over 1000 sq. ft. and fits us to a "T"!

I do have friends who have chosen to go the Little House route but, in our lingo, we call them "park models!"  Everything you could want including granite counter tops and cathedral ceilings in 500 sq. ft!  Selling their multi-level city house enabled them to follow their dream.  They now own two park models - one in Canada and one in Arizona.  They get to embrace two various locations, avoid the much-maligned Canadian winter and only have to move some clothing from one site to the other.  The park model in Arizona is what many snowbirds call home for the Canadian winter.  Mind you, most retain their 2000 sq. ft, 3-bedroom home in the city too.  These friends threw caution to the wind and chose to free themselves from the weight such a home creates in maintenance and heating bills and found a small park just miles south of their city home that garnered them a riverside paradise in Canada.  They have retained their temporary trailer as a "visitor dorm" in case of grandkid-sleep overs but had a new park model moved on to the site this spring!  I think their vision is brave and innovative.  This is Year One and I have to say that the Facebook posts are all positive and speak to the allure of friendships and activities in both countries!

What would it take for you to give up your suburban abode?  The vision of freedom to pursue our travel plans and a little corner of the world we can still call home was all we needed!

What Gets Me Up in the Morning

A quiet house to allow my body to catch up with my mind.

A sunrise that opens my eyes to a new day of the beauty around me.

A first smile of the morning as the quail families strut their stuff on their early morning stroll.

A cup of coffee with the love of my life.

A joyful heart as I own another day of 15 hours of doing what calls me - and then to bed again.

A sense of freedom to explore the unexpected: 

over the mountain or in the valley or right inside my own heart.

A deep breath and then another - here it comes and I am ready!

Re-branding as a retiree means hitting the slow lane at top speed! 

Good Morning!

Zen Ironing

I am in the throes of re-branding myself from workaholic manager to a zen-like retiree.  I have noticed a BIG gap from "here" to "there"!  In fact, today I found myself ironing t-shirts!  Now, for some of you that may be perfectly normal behavior. You might even iron your underwear and that is OK - really!  It's just that I don't quite fall into that category.  I iron only when it has to be ironed or when people will look at me funny if I don`t!  I have been known to iron pillowcases - sure, and even sheets (just the tops of the flat ones - relax!), but rarely would I ever touch up a t-shirt unless it was casual Friday or jeans day at work.

I sat down tonight to analyse this (now that, dear friends, is the real me!) and came to a whopping big conclusion!  I have replaced my daily raids to the candy machine at work when I was buried by a project that wasn't going well with IRONING!  Now ironing is a much healthier procrastination activity to be sure - a lot fewer calories than munching on an Aero Bar - but it is kind of odd - right?

Now here's the story (before my close peeps start saying things like Type A and OCD Queen!).  I was struggling this afternoon while hanging some new drapes for my new nest (see previous blog for definition of "nest!"  I pre-drilled the holes to test for a stud and found none.  I drilled a bigger hole (4X - talk about being confident!) and grabbed the anchors.  With four screws pressed tightly between my lips, I climbed the little ladder to proceed screwing them into the - oh, whoops - forgot the anchors.  I proceeded down the ladder to get them, removed the screws from my mouth, and holding the anchors in my hand, hammered the first one in - perfect!  Then, I inserted the second one and hammered and hammered and - yeah, I smashed that anchor into a blob.  I pulled and yanked and sweated my way through the next five minutes of extracting this second anchor.  I could not believe I had missed locating a stud or cross piece or whatever it is called!

So now I have two holes in my wall - MAKE THAT 4 - and the sweat starts to bead on my forehead.  I hold my breath - I always hold my breath when trying to execute tasks that require precision.  I move on to hole Number 3 - perfect!  So, insanity sets in and I push anchor Number 4 into the final hole - why did I think that at the same level as Number 2 I would somehow miss the cross piece?  I straightened the brace, wiggled the hole in the brace over a little tiny bit and, with teeth clenched, drove screw Number 4 (sans anchor) into the wall.  Seemed pretty tight to me.  I returned with bated breath to Number 2 - what to do?  I grabbed a smaller anchor and hammered until I had smashed it down to almost wall depth.  I grabbed the electric drill with the screw bit in place, pulled the trigger and pushed until that sucker sunk below noticeable levels of detection!  I tested the security of the two braces, decided they were sufficient for the small rod and hung those drapes un-hemmed so no one would see the messy job I just pulled off!

You can guess by this time I was out of breath, drenched from top to toe, frustrated and not too inclined to measure, cut and hem the four drapery panels hanging from the the two living room windows - that was my plan today!  Not a candy bar or gluten free granola bar to be found so - I IRONED!  AH, perfection! 

Nesting Very Well, Thank You!

Many lovely friends have asked me how retirement is going.  Most then hoot or chortle and say they already know the answer!  However, my retirement  has somehow taken a back seat to - wait for it - NESTNG. Not the nesting that happens when you draw close to your due date and all those adorable little clothes need to be washed and folded for the new little one arriving soon - God forbid!  This has a similar feeling, I suppose, as I prepared to hatch ALL those idealistic plans of writing more, walking more and living in the moment more - well, they are hanging on the ``get to you later`` tree I planted on Day One.

I feel I am in a Super Storm of sorts - feathering a nest is always challenging but retiring, selling our city house, moving to another province and establishing a new home in a small town, all in two months, is like building a nest in a thunderstorm!  It`s all good really! but just like those poor birds being blown around by gusty winds and driving rain, I flutter about my new home, constantly moving this and adjusting that, discussing the advantages of a gluten-free only shelf in the shared pantry (Chef and Sous-chef kind of discussing), and then, when my little bird eyes shift outside to the yard, hefting huge pots of herbs and peppers and melons as the winds of change swoop down into our little desert yard. I am thinking my new neighbors must notice the movement of pots of plants from one side to the other and then, mysteriously back but I have never seen a neighbor out in the heat myself!  I suspect they think the adorable quail might have developed super strength and have ferreted these on their backs on their evening or early morning visits.

Just when I think the last straw has been tucked into the nest, I notice the dust bunnies hiding under the bed or the sand dunes collecting in the entry way, and off goes my computer (or sewing machine or yoga video) and off I go, scurrying after the "bait" - new drapes, new birdbath, patio plans - really, it wouldn`t matter as they all take me further into my new nest!  The way I see it, life is for the birds!  I wouldn`t have it any other way!

Sunrise; Sunset....

Retirement is being able to watch the sunrise without panic setting in as you contemplate a full day of work without enough sleep!  I am still trying to establish a rhythm of sorts for my retirement day and my body decided that might start at 3:30 AM today!  Rather than fight it I decided to go with it.  The sun has now risen and the birds are rejoicing.  I can hear the quail crowing in the bushes and the songbirds are just starting to herald the day.  We seem perched in the midst of a bird strata rather than the 55+ community officially announced at our gate!  Quail visit regularly and now they are bringing their children along for the community strut.  Little Chats (considered rare so I feel doubly blessed) bob in between the tile rooftops, their yellow breasts promising more sunshine today.  Bluebirds sing along the fence line and of course our resident humming birds buzz in and out of our yard daily.  The rose-breasted thrush sing like nightingales and blend in a lovely cacophony of warbling and tweeting.  I am no way near becoming educated in identifying the many species of songbirds gracing our backyard on any given day, but I am amazed at their variety and energy!  So, as the rosy glow of the mountain sunrise creeps into the valley, I just have to say I am happy to be retired today!

Glow Now

A long lead-in to a new beginning -the pink glow of the sunset interjecting it's beauty on the deepening blue sky; the stars twinkling for attention as the moon, a half circle globe shines yellow, ever changing but solid, watching the night.  Now, I talk less and think more and watch the day stretch out before me with just a quick glance from the pages of my current book.  It won't always be like this - housework will still have to be done; appointments made and kept; and some cooking here and there - but, in this moment, I choose to observe from afar as my world slowly evolves into the "me of now" - content to glow rather than twinkle, be solid while ever changing - for now.